Nursing Associate End-of-Life Reflection: Gibbs

Description

An elderly patient on our ward was in the last days of life, with treatment focused entirely on comfort. Over three shifts I was involved in their care: repositioning, mouth care, and personal care, alongside supporting the family members who were staying at the bedside. On my final shift the patient died peacefully with family present. Alongside the registered nurse, I helped provide care after death and spent time with the family afterwards, mostly listening.

Feelings

Initially I dreaded going into the room - I was frightened of saying the wrong thing to the family and unsure whether my presence was intrusive. As the shifts went on, this changed. I found the personal care unexpectedly meaningful: it felt like the most important work on the ward rather than the most basic. When the patient died I felt sadness, but also something like pride that they had been comfortable and their family supported. Afterwards, I felt drained in a way I hadn't anticipated.

Evaluation

What went well was the fundamental care itself - the patient remained comfortable, and the family repeatedly said how reassured they were by the attention to small details like mouth care and clean bedding. What I found harder was conversation with the family; more than once I avoided the room briefly because I didn't know what to say. I also underestimated the emotional load and didn't speak to anyone about it until days later.

Analysis

Talking with the registered nurse I worked alongside, I came to see that my fear of 'saying the wrong thing' rested on a false assumption - that families need words from us. Mostly they needed presence, practical care, and permission to talk. The literature on end of life care echoes this: silence and attentiveness are interventions in their own right. My tiredness afterwards was a normal response to emotional labour, and recognising it as such - rather than as weakness - is part of sustainable practice.

Conclusion

I learned that comfort-focused care is skilled, active work; that presence matters more than finding perfect words; and that I need to attend to my own recovery after emotionally demanding shifts rather than treating it as an afterthought.

Action plan

I have enrolled on our trust's end of life care study day to build my knowledge of symptom management and communication frameworks. I will stop avoiding rooms when I feel unsure and instead use simple openers like "Can I get you anything?" as a bridge to presence. After future deaths on the ward, I will take up the offer of a team debrief rather than carrying the experience home silently.